The Master Cleanse

It’s not a diet. It’s a cleanse.

I did it. I took the plunge and did a 10-day Master Cleanse. You might not be in the know as to this celebrity-styled body makeover secret but rest assured I deprived myself of food over the past 10 days so you don’t have to. That is, unless you want to lose 14 pounds, feel lean, more aware, alive and thankful for food—your call.

Lest you believe this challenge even approached easy or convenient you should know I love food. I love all the aspects: the taste, texture and smell as well as the social aspect and rhythm of the eating experience. I have worked (and do currently) in a number of different restaurants, started a boutique catering company and cook for friends all the time. Why then would someone who loves something this much walk away for 10 days? Why indeed!

I decided to try this cleanse for a number of reasons: 1) I felt like if I restart my computer, flush my car’s fuel system and get my teeth cleaned every 6 months then resetting my insides every 27 years is probably a good idea too 2) I was curious how it worked 3) I wanted to see if I was up for the challenge.

The “Master Cleanse,” created in the 1940s by Stanley Burroughs, is a diet consisting of a “Lemonade” drink consumed 6-12 times daily. That’s all. No food. Nothing else. This Lemonade concoction of 2 tbs Grade B maple syrup, 2 tbs fresh lemon juice, 1/10 tsp cayenne pepper and 10 oz of water is all you get. Additionally to aid the flushing of toxins from the system, an herbal tea laxative is to be consumed each night followed by a quart (yep) of warm (uh huh) uniodized sea-saltwater in the morning. Yum.

The following is a brief summary of my past 10 days on the world-renowned and oft celebrity-hyped detoxifier known as the Master Cleanse.

Day 1: Thursday

Today was hard. I had a headache working at the restaurant most of the day and put too much cayenne pepper in my drink. Already I am annoyed at how much energy it takes to make this drink; measure and pour the syrup, cut and strain the lemons, measure the cayenne, add the water. I drank lots of water in addition to the Lemonade and it pretty much goes right out.

I am very tired and have little energy and it’s not like, “been a long day” tired. I am physically exhausted from my 16-hour work day and crashed at about 10:00p.m. (with 2 hours left at work).

I took my herbal tea laxative tonight and actually enjoyed the taste of something different.
Day 2: Friday

I woke up a few times during the night. My throat was really sore like I was getting sick. I threw up from both ends early this morning and went back to bed.

I took the saltwater drink which was disgusting but within the hour had completely washed my insides and cleaned out what the laxative loosened. Strange feeling but it felt good.

I played Frisbee this afternoon for about an hour and have not had headaches today so far. I am hungry but drink my drink and that helps—though I’m already not thrilled about the lack of flavor variation. I might try limes to replace the lemons because the book says that’s o.k.

Never has working in a restaurant been harder. Not only am I tired but I am serving delicious foods to people all night long. Interestingly I am craving a Roasted Beet Salad with a side of Salmon instead of our Fried Chicken or Burger and Fries.

My mouth feels very pasty and my teeth feel like they have some coating on them. Also my tongue is fuzzy and white.

Took my laxative tonight.

Day 3: Saturday

Felt awesome in the morning. I awoke with energy and lightness. I didn’t drink my saltwater.

I played 3 hours of 2-man volleyball in Hermosa Beach in 90 degree weather and then worked from 3:30 till 11:00 feeling good until the end of the night. Sitting down was all I could think about doing while running around giving people food. I don’t think I drank enough water playing volleyball today.

Took my laxative tonight.
Day 4: Sunday

Saltwater in the morning and nothing really happened. It was cold water because that seemed easier to drink than a quart of warm saltwater but it wasn’t nearly as effective; felt pretty good but a little weak. Went to church and went to the bathroom once. Came home, laundry, e-mails, clean house, work from 3:30-9:30 and was tired but drank more Lemonade and that quelled my hunger and gave me more energy.

Took my laxative tonight and looked forward to the new taste. I also began TiVo-ing Rachel Ray’s 30-Minute Meals and started watching an episode at the end of my day with my laxative tea. There was something soothing about the show—or maybe that was just the laxative.

Day 5: Monday

Woke up feeling grey—feel like my 100% is now about 80%. My mouth is less dry and seems to be slowly returning to pink. Took saltwater this a.m. and it’s taking time to go through me. I am sore from volleyball and randomly my knee hurts really bad. I don’t know if its longer to heal or if—as the book claims—old injuries return ****.

I decided to try to workout today and have felt o.k. about my energy most of the day. I am feeling removed from food, however, and really desire something to eat. I have been watching Food Network like it’s porn for me right now. My tastes have changed a little and I would kill for a banana, green apple, roasted beets, etc. I realize how much I love food for food. I miss cooking, I miss eating and I miss the chance to eat with others, the social element of it.

Laxative tonight: it’s now the culinary highlight of my day.
Day 6: Tuesday

This morning I slept in and took the saltwater again and had great results and felt really cleansed afterwards. I tired quicker and napped during the day. At night I had to work at the restaurant and my knee is still hurting me. It’s even tough to walk and I’m starting to get a little concerned for what this is. I noticed my tongue is getting back to normal slowly and my mouth is feeling less chalky.

I took my laxative again.

Day 7: Wednesday

I had a good morning with a great saltwater cleanse and my knee is getting better. I feel encouraged to keep going. I had thoughts of pulling out early and calling it at seven days but I can’t be this close to the “top” and miss the “view.” I still feel a little sluggish bu I’m getting used to it.

Today my jeans that have always been tight are all the sudden loose and I weighed myself and realized I’ve lost 10 lbs so far! I notice the loss mostly in my stomach, legs and arms. I am also colder than everyone else. I’m wearing jeans and a hoodie and others are in shorts. A number of times when I stood up and got light-headed very quickly. Interesting.

Lax it up.

Day 8: Thursday

Wow. I think I floated out of bed today. I feel fantastic: acute, aware, sharp, and light. My hunger cravings were still there but they were curtailed totally by the drink. I worked in the a.m. and felt back to 100% making jokes and not feeling tired at all.

One thing I am looking forward to is actually tasting my food again. At work I see people craming food in their mouth and talking on the phone or having a business lunch or just eating in a hurry and going to a movie. They don’t even taste the flavors. I too was like that. Eating to live rather than living to eat.

I left and came home to work on some stuff and went to hang with friends who—without prompting—told me I looked like I had lost some weight. I am at 12 lbs today.

30-minutes of bliss with Rachel Ray and my laxative

Day 9: Friday

I am very excited to be almost done. I miss food still and feel blessed to know that I am not eating because I choose this and that I will have food in my pantry when I am done. It’s healthy to remember that not everyone has this choice. I feel blessed.

I felt physically weaker. I see a substantial loss in muscle mass in my arms and legs and am curious if I’ll get that back. I helped a friend move furniture and I noticed I was considerably weaker than normal. Someone told me today that their mom did this cleanse and after resetting her system she discovered she was allergic to dairy and wheat. I HOPE that is not the case. I really, really, really hope that doesn’t happen to me.

Though I feel lighter and my energy is normal my cravings have come back to wanting not only food in general but the variety of flavor, temperature and texture of the experience of eating.

Another night living through Mrs. Ray and my Smooth Move laxative
Day 10: Saturday

Normaly routine of my saltwater and I’m not really even bothered by it—probably because it was the last one! Interestingly enough, after 10 days without food, the cleanse still removes…ahem…stuff.

This cleanse is so intense there is a food plan for 3 days to readjust your body to typical eating again. Day one is only fresh squeezed orange juice. Day two is the OJ and vege soup where one consumes the broth and a few veggies. Day three is OJ, soup and fresh fruit, salad, nuts and raw veggies. So like a fan getting ready for opening day, I went to the Fresh and Easy (similar to a Whole Foods or Fresh Market) and bought my fresh-squeezed OJ and am very excited. I feel great today—partly the excitement of completing this goal and partly because my body is cleansed.

After work, I returned home and drank my last sip of my Lemonade—my friend and comrade on this 10-day journey. I raised my empty Nalgene container and walked triumphantly around my apartment clapping in the air—a-la Will Smith in Pursuit of Happiness.

Final Thoughts

The end of my fast was complete. Overall, this was a tough few days and then after that things became progressively easier and my body responded very well to the cleansing process. I would advise you to do your research. Check out the plan and the cleanse. You can go online and read countless articles and even watch people’s YouTube blogs about it. Due to the fairly extreme nature of the cleanse, I recommend consulting with a physician first. Your body undergoes pretty substantial changes in a short amount of time and responds differently (Note: my blood pressure dropped dramatically which explained the light-headedness and feeling colder).

I recommend this fast for a number of reasons: cleansing your body, giving your digestive tract a much needed break, becoming aware of what we actually eat, thankfulness for food at all and simply the challenge of accomplishing a goal—also loosing a few lbs ain’t bad.

Good luck.